As my eldest turns 9 this year, it’s got me thinking exactly what we should be expecting our children to do at that age for themselves.
I’m not talking about sending him up chimneys to earn his keep (although, thinking about it, that might not be a bad idea…… ) but the kind of things he should be doing more himself.
I mean, at that age, I was walking to primary school and back by myself every day as it was only a 5 minute walk away and was in a small village, but here it’s a mile walk each way with a walk near the town centre and very busy roads.
So he hasn’t done that yet as it is just too far.
When it comes to home, I’m expecting him to do more and more though. He’s perfectly capable of getting his own breakfast if he gets up before me, and sorting out his own cereal and milk.
His local Cubs pack opened my eyes to how much more he could be doing at home as well when the other week he had to cook a meal at home for us all to eat as part of a badge they were working towards.
He’d never done that before, either.
(He does make a pretty mean spaghetti bolognese if we let him, it turns out.) He really enjoyed being allowed to chop all the vegetables up to put into the sauce, as it happens. (With us watching over him of course.)
As for the washing up? Nope, he wasn’t so impressed with that.
Me and his Dad thought it was great, though.
“You’ve missed a bit!”
“Ooh, look. I’ve found you another teacup to wash up…”
Hehe.
So what did/do yours do at that age in the way of helping out around the house and also in going out?
Do they go to the shops by themselves? School?
Do you think I’ll get away with sticking him up the chimney? No?! Oh well, I’ll have to think of something else then….
My eldest daughter will be 7 in March…but I think she may be a bit weird! She actually asks me what she can do. She likes to help make dinner by chopping veg (with supervision!). She’s asked to wash dishes (but I won’t let her do glasses or knives!). And she quite likes to get the dustpan and brush out. Her task that I do like her to do is to put away all her clean laundry, after I’ve washed, dried, ironed and folded it all! The one thing that I really want her and her 4 year old sister to do is keep their room tidy. But it never seems to happen unless I do it. Is that just a kid thing?
That’s definitely just a kid thing, both my 8 and 4 year old are rubbish at keeping their room tidy! It doesn’t matter how many times they are asked to keep it tidy, it looks like an explosion in a toy factory about 2 seconds after the last clean!
At 9 my son was doing lots for himself, including making his own lunch for school, he also has jobs round the house and cooked (with me) once a week. I think it is important for them to be independent and to learn how to look after themselves. I want him to be prepared when he leaves home, for university or otherwise, and to be able to cook, clean and look after himself. I also think it’s good for them to know what goes into running a home so they appreciate you. He did also walk to school at the age of 9, it was quite a long walk, through town and over some busy roads but I did the route with him and made sure he knew which way to go so he used crossings.
He is now nearly 13 and still does lots around the house and it’s normality so it’s mostly done without moaning! He also has no problem getting the bus to secondary school because he’s used to getting himself to school.
That’s a great list of things, and some I hadn’t thought about! I automatically do his packed lunch for school, and never thought about it being something he could do.
I’ll have to let him do it some times, he enjoys doing things like that.
I’ve never really given this much thought, but on reflection, now I can see that my 5 year old is actually quite helpful! She puts her washing in her basket, and when it’s full, without prompting she puts it on the landing for me to bring down and wash.
She dresses her self and will do jobs like “go and fetch my x or y PLeaseeeeeee” and she goes off and does it.
Gosh, am I treating her like my slave? Bad mother that I am
Ha, I think you have the right idea. Get them starting early! Now I just need to train my 4 year old to bring my dressing gown, fetch my slippers and pour me a glass of wine.
My 8.5yr old girl doesn’t do a great deal, but we have just started a chores chart to get them emptying their lunch boxes after school, clearing the table after meals & putting clothes away. Tidying their bedrooms is on there too, but I really don’t think I’m going t get very far with that! They (DD and DS whos 5) get 5p a star and then they get pocket money at the end of the week. I guess when I was younger I possibly did more, but we are now so hung up on whats safe and not safe and also for an easy life they dodn’t do as much as they should.
I will let DD walk to school on her own next year when she is in yr 5, as in yr 6 she goes to middle school and will need to catch a bus. Unfortunately even though we live in a village there is a busy main road to cross which does have a crossing lady at, but occasionaly she is not there, so I tend to worry I also have to take the 5yr old anyway.
Meals – never thought about her actually doing cooking, not that she shows much interest, may have to start getting her more involved.
Interesting to read others comments.
I like the sound of the 5p a star, that sounds like a good idea.