It seems like you can’t go anywhere nowadays without being accosted by charities and organisations waving clipboards around and getting in your face with the hard sell, or shops trying to sell you something you never wanted in the first place.
Take this morning, for example. Within the space of ten minutes of being in town, a man bearing down with a leaflet and a cheesy grin tried to foist a leaflet on me as I walked past minding my own business.
“HAD AN EMERGENCY? AN ACCIDENT THAT WASN’T YOUR FAULT? WE CAN HELP!” yelled the sign on the stall behind his head.
I’m too polite. I simply shook my head and declined his kind offer of a leaflet with a ‘no, thank you.’
When I really wanted to reply ‘Accident? Yep mate, you’ll be needing the services of your own company if you don’t Get.Out.Of My.Face!”
Even the shops are waving stuff about at you when you never even asked for it in the first place.
This morning, when paying at the till, I had:
“Would you like one of these chocolate bars?”
Um, no. If I had wanted one I would have told you. It would be in my basket and I’d have been buying it, you silly mare.
Yep they do it too.
When all you wanted was to pay your bill, and go out on your merry way.
“Who’s your mortgage with? Why don’t you change to this one? Or that one? Or get this insurance? Or that one?!”
It’s enough to send you running home for a bit of peace and quiet.
Oh no, wait, hang on - they even get you in the privacy of your own home nowadays.
Half past bloody 8 they’ve started to turn up with a knock on the door from charities such as the one asking me to sign up to help the sick children.
1) It’s night time, you moron. People are resting. Had their tea, kids in bed and they want to relax in front of Eastenders or whatever.
They don’t want you merrily banging away on the door knocker the minute the kids have gone to sleep. Do you not have a home to go to?!
2) As if I’m going to stand and give a perfect stranger my bank details on the doorstep. I might look daft, but I’m not that daft.
3) Just because I said ‘no thank you, not tonight’ and try to shut the door, doesn’t mean you can go into spiels like:
“So don’t you care about sick children?!”
Yay, way to go. Put on the guilt trip. Doesn’t work with me. (Course I care about sick children, I just don’t want harassing on my doorstep.)
So to all chuggers, hard sell shop people and the rest of you, I say this:
Kindly Chug Off and leave me alone!