An article in one of today’s papers tells of how one mother has been dubbed selfish for not wanting to give her offspring a little brother or sister to play with.
Caroline, a mother of one little girl, has told of how she has had to defend her right to have only one child and not a whole little army of children who are all there for each other.
Does it matter how many brothers or sisters you have? Is it vitally important to have at least one brother or sister to play with when you’re growing up? Or is it important to learn how to grow independently, think for yourself and know how to get along in solitude?
Thinking back to when I was small, I grew up with a brother 2 years younger and we used to make dens in the fields behind our parents house, or wind each other up constantly. The only difference back then that we could wind each other up equally – if I tried to ‘get him’ now, he’s a 6 foot plus beanpole who could quite easily ‘get me’ back…although he’d have a fight on his hands 
Do we need siblings to keep us occupied? Or are we alright just by ourselves?
The husband grew up an only child, and tells how he used to wish he had someone to play with.
Yes, he used to have people to play with at school, but when he got home there was no other children to play with which would have been nice, as without any other children there it got a bit lonely.
How many children makes it just right? I personally liked having brothers and sisters to grow up with.
I had the brother growing up with when I was little, then I moved out by myself. I was nearly entering teens when my sister was about 3, so my young growing up years was with the brother. Now my grown up years are spent knowing my sister and having great nights out on the town with her.
Even when she needs a slap as the age difference becomes apparent when she only ever recognizes dance versions of classic 80′s songs….
Are only children lonely? What do you think?!
People have only one child for many different reasons. I would not consider having one child a selfish act. Nor would I consider someone having just one child selfish. Children do need interaction with other children. Peer interaction through play groups, sports, scouts, etc. can help with this. Great post!
I wouldn’t judge a family with one child. I couldn’t imagine not wanting to have more than one. I don’t know how I would have made it as a military kid without my brothers. I see my daughters play and I don’t know how they would be without each other. I know people who grew up only children and they had good lives too.
Hey:-)
I have a 12yo from a previous relationship (+ get on better with her dad now than when we were together!) and have been married for 2 yrs to my hubby. The subject of children has come up, and although he does want kids, i’m not so sure. Don’t get me wrong I love kids but do I want to wave Bubby off to uni only to do the nursery run? Bubby has lots of friends, went to nursery, playgroup, rainbows, ballet, brownies and now guides! She has friends come over to stay, so she’s always had company, on the other hand, she can be alone if she wants, also, you dont miss what you never had so it doesn’t bother her!
I do sometimes feel like I should’ve had more so she did have company, but would that would’ve been for the wrong reason in my eye..
great post!
Ally.xx
I have had two children but one died. When my 2nd child was still small people occasionally comented that I should have more children but having one die and the 2nd in special care is enough to put me off having anymore.
People have told me I am selfish for not having another but I am afraid I won’t be bullied into having a baby to keep another child company throughout their childhood. If that makes me selfish then so be it. I have had two children and if one dies that is not my fault. People are quick to judge without knowing the full facts.
My son does occasionally say, ‘ I wish Ellis hadn’t of died, I would have someone to play with then’, this does break my heart but sadly that’s life.
People need to realise that there is often a ‘bigger picture’ when families only have one child and also quite often people only want one child!
Louise
x
So sorry to hear of your loss. It’s sad that people feel the need to call others selfish for only having one child, each family is different and it’s nobody else’s business really, is it?
We as parents all know how many children we are comfortable with, and what works for us and that should be enough.
Not to have others pressure….
This is a question that is constantly buzzing around my head. I’ve debated it over and over (and blogged about it) and I’m still none the wiser. Before having a baby I wanted 6! after, well, I think 1 might be just right! But what’s right for my child, husband and me, I’m still not sure.
Great post, it’s on my Blog Posts of the Week page on my blog.
I think this is just another one of those debates about judging parents when none of us have any right to. I have one child and never wanted anymore. It makes me seethe to think parents are being judged as “selfish” if they choose to have just one child. What business is it of anyone’s? We are all different and all entitled to make a decision that’s best for our family as a whole.
CJ x
I agree, there’s always too much judging going on about parenting, and this is just one of the topics for people to wade into!
Thanks very much for the Blog Post of The Week inclusion, I’ll go and have a look now!