Posts Tagged ‘parenting’

I don’t know if it’s a kid thing, or just a boy thing in general, but my two are absolutely obsessed with anything to do with poo and wee and it’s starting to drive me a little potty. (No toilet pun intended.)

It doesn’t matter what you’re doing, or where you are – the conversation always ends up back at something bottom related.

Even sat at the dinner table having their lunch today between mouthfuls of sandwiches. Grr.

A favourite word is fart which I’m sure they say all the more because I’ve said I don’t like it and it’s not very nice.

Surely it’s much more fun to be more creative?

Trump, bottom burp, parp, trouser whistler. All a whole lot funnier than that blasted word.

I’ve just been informed that there’s a Despicable Me Fart Blaster that they’d love for Christmas which charmingly makes fart noises when you pull the trigger.

Oh. Yay. Not only do they get to do my head in with all the toilet talk, now they want to torture me with sound effects too.



Tell me they grow out of it. (Although I’m not holding out much hope. The eldest is nearly 11 and still going strong.)


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Lately, I’ve been seeing lots of gushing via Facebook and it’s got me wondering what the  hell is going on and if I’m missing a vital ‘soppy gene.’

Lots of posts and memes have been littered with things like “Three things I’m thankful for today” and have gone on to describe angelic children, dances through the cornfields whilst singing along the way, and general loveliness.

My two however have decided to belt seven bells of crap out of each other in the form of wrestling since school finished last week.

Why? For the love of God, WHY can’t they play nicely without deciding to divebomb the other or get the other in a stranglehold on the floor? Is it a boy thing?!

So on seeing these lovey dovey memes and posts I decided to post my own three things I was thankful for to counter-act all the saccharine bullcrap as I refuse to believe you’re all Sound of Music Julie Andrews wannabe’s

The three things I’ve been thankful for this week?


- Bedtime.

- Wine.

- Social Media



What’s yours?!

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As a blogger, I spend quite a lot of time on social media and over the different platforms, see lots of pictures and stories of various children.

Recently joining Instagram, it got me thinking if sometimes we’re responsible for over sharing.

Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with sharing your lives and pictures with a wider audience, especially when blogs revolve around the family , and are enhanced by funny stories, pictures, or craft activities or whatever.

I post photos of my two on my blog, but it’s always back views, or partially obscured faces for privacy reasons.

Something like this when we went castle moat exploring.

exploring castle s

As well as never mentioning names.

Pictures of children fast asleep in their beds oblivious to the fact that they’re being pictured and put on the internet for others to see, or of  bathing babies etc.

The worst we ever had to contend with when growing up was the fact that mum or dad would whip out their camera and take embarrassing photos of you and put in the photo album to bring out in front of future boyfriends/girlfriends to embarrass the hell out of you.

Today’s children though have a bigger nightmare – the fear that their mum and dad may be uploading pictures of their tantrums, or discussing their toilet habits or whatever.

You just need to look at the immensely popular blog (and now book)  Reasons My Kid is Crying to see my point.

Sure, it’s hilarious, I’ve had a good laugh at some of the tantrums on there (they’re funny because they’re so completely true! )

Do all the toddlers know and understand they’re being put up for adult’s entertainment though? Could be quite embarrassing when they come across it in later life.

Ditto with all the sleeping babies sucking thumbs (“M’uuuum! I can’t even sleep in peace without you showing everyone!”) or baths.

What goes online stays online, as they say.

Are you an oversharer? Or am I an over thinker?! :-)


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According to today’s Daily Mail, Prince George will be celebrating his birthday with a Peter Rabbit themed party when he turns one this week.

With his grandparents running a party items website, I suppose it makes perfect sense that they’d throw a party for him complete with a theme.

What better way for a one year old to celebrate than with a fun birthday, bright tablecloths and games?

Some might argue that at the age of one, you don’t really know what’s going on, so what’s the point in a party – isn’t it really for the parents?!

I suppose they might have a point, as my now 10 year old started to fall asleep in his high chair halfway through the birthday tea.

At least he managed a little bit of cake before face planting and pushing up zeds, leaving the rest of us to party in his absence as he napped.

I think suitable themed parties at one are great though, and Peter Rabbit is an excellent choice.

Here, it was a Winnie The Pooh tea party for the now 10 year old, complete with Winnie the Pooh cake, table cloth, paper plates, etc. (We skipped on games though. He’d only have tried to eat the pass the parcel. Being one and all.)

The now 7 year old had a Tigger themed party when he turned one. Being a little party monster, he managed to stay awake through all of his.

Again, Tigger cake, napkins etc. Not to mention party bags with things like chocolate buttons or bubbles in (for the parents to blow for them, of course :-) )

It’s all good fun.

Over the years, the 10 year old has had Winnie the Pooh, Fimbles,  and Thomas The Tank Engine themes before progressing to soft play parties when the nursery and school years were reached and class parties took over from little tea parties.

The 7 year old has had themes including Tigger, and Bob the Builder.

Little Prince George will have a great time at his, and it’s great to see even as a Royal you can have a classic, childhood tea party for your birthday.



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As we live in a smallish house with not much outdoor space, it came as a bit of a surprise when the 10 year old said “can we have a dog?!”

He’d never expressed an interest in owning any pets before, so it was a bit out of the blue.

I think all children at some point love a pet of their own to look after, and he’s obviously no exception.

I remember having a goldfish called Goldie when I was little (very original name, there!)

After pointing out that maybe a dog wouldn’t be practical in our house as they need more room, we thought about other pets that would be a better option.

As children who have never owned a pet before, we thought of ones that would be easier to manage than big dogs who would take a lot of looking after (walking every day, pooping it’s scoop :-) ) etc.

Which is where I mentioned my childhood goldfish.

I used to love sprinkling fish food in for little Goldie and watching him swim round his bowl.

We thought fish may be a good first pet, as they could easily help to look after them, and even small children could help feed the fish.

You’d need a good tank or bowl to keep them safe in, and if you did want to go down the little fishy route, All Pond Solutions  have some great ones especially for children with a seahorse or surfing design.

There’s something quite therapeutic about watching fish swim round and around, too. I may have to try sitting in front of  fish tanks and watching the fish swim round next time they’re winding each other up.

“Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming along…..”


This post is in collabation with All Pond Solutions.




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It’s now June, which means  it’s that time of year again when school children troop out onto their playing fields in their P.E kits to skip rope and race each other.

(Not competitively you understand. Oh no.)

This is also accompanied by the school’s annual request for helpers, where they need suckers willing parents to help herd the children onto the fields, show them what they should be doing, and generally just make themselves useful.

The request always brings me out in a cold sweat and I can usually find a shoelace to tie or something urgent and/or interesting outside that needs my immediate attention.

Don’t  get me wrong, it’s not that I don’t WANT to help. It’s just the thought of being in charge of a whole team of small people and being a RESPONSIBLE ADULT brings me out in hives.

Heck, I can just about manage to organise me and my lot, without a whole army of other small people to contend with.

They’d probably call me Mrs So and So as well. Which would be another whole level of freak out, as I’m not old enough to be a Mrs So and So.

That’s the mother in law’s name, not mine.


No. I’d much rather be on the sidelines, cheering on instead from my own little comfort zone.

How about you?

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When I got a text message from school earlier this week asking pupils not to bring in loom bands, I had the sudden realisation I was old when I realised I didn’t have a frigging clue what a loom band WAS.

That’s the epitome of being old,isn’t it? Not knowing all the newfangled crazes , and what the kids are collecting this week and next.

Or what, or indeed who (pop bands) they’re into.

I had to ask the small people when they came out of school what they were. I’m still none the wiser. Something to do with interlocky band things that you can make pretty plastic coloured wristbands with. Or something.

I wouldn’t know. It’s all Panini World Cup album stickers in this household. Or Match Attax cards.

It doesn’t matter what decade you were born in, it seems there’s always some trend or craze to participate in.

When I was at primary school, it wasn’t loom bands. I remember these. Yes, and I’m fully aware I’m going to reveal my age now. Oh well.


Grolsch bottle tops

Remember these? If you were a Bros fan, you used to glue Grolsch bottle tops to your Doc Martens. We went to Haven last week. At the 80’s music  quiz, the Funstar announced the answer pronounced as “It’s Broh’s. I think. Don’t remember them.” No. It really isn’t. Good grief. You know you’re old when the Funstars are about 15 years younger than you and they know bog all. Sheesh.


Garbage Pail Kids


Who remembers collecting these? They were all the rage in the primary playground, and I can remember taking them in to swap. They had charming names along the lines of Puking Pete, or Adam Bomb.

They were far more up my street and appealed to my sense of humour.

garbage pail


So I suppose whatever age you are there’s always going to be something you collect and drive your teachers loopy with. For us, it was Garbage Pail card swapping in the middle of the playground.

Today, it’s apparently Loom Bands. Whatever they are.

What did you collect?





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