As we’ve been stuck with miserable weather for the past week, which in turn has made the small ones start to go a bit stir crazy being cooped up, I thought I’d do us all a favour and head off out to the local soft play centre for a bit.
The idea was simple, and brilliant. Two little ones stick at home, practically chasing their tails round and round like some kind of crazy dog, while all the time screeching at the top of their voices in between winding each other up did not a relaxed environment make.
So, a trip to the local ball pool would be a great idea – they could run up and down, climb and clamber over everything in sight if they so wished.
Yes, that’s right as I wouldn’t care, as they could go loopy crackers with each other and I’d be sat relaxing with a nice cup of tea and a bacon sarnie while reading the paper in relative peace.
Until we got there and any idea of a nice relaxing afternoon disappeared in a puff of smoke as I had completely forgotten what soft play centres are actually like in the middle of the holidays, along with conveniently forgetting why I only ever used to go after school or back when they weren’t both at school full time.
There was me, only remembering through my rose tinted specs that aspect of ball pools. Yes, you can have one eye on a paper and the other watching your little darlings when they’re the only people in there, or there’s literally only a handful of other children. (I’m nothing if not a multi-tasker.)
Try it on a wet midweek Easter holiday though, and it’s a different story. Kids running up and down the big slide despite a big sign saying ‘DO NOT RUN OR WALK UP THE SLIDE.’ while the parents sit there and let them.
Can they not read, or do they just not give a stuff? Never mind all the small ones patiently sitting at the top waiting to come down but can’t because of kids doing what the hell they like as their parents let them climb up.
(I’d bet they’d soon be up in a flash if their kid got a boot in the head due to going the wrong way up a slide as someone else was coming down, and that it wouldn’t be their kid’s fault. Oh no.)
Then there was the child clambering on the roof of the plastic play house making the roof come apart a bit. Then climbing through the windows and nearly dismantling the whole thing.
Even my 4 year old commented it was a bit silly trying to climb through a window, as you go through a door, don’t you?!
Not to mention the main ball bit being overrun with a gang of kids who all looked about 12, charging round in it so there was no room for anyone else at one point as they were all too busy chucking balls at each other’s heads for any other kids to climb in too.
So all in all, a not very relaxing day after all…. next time we want a day of letting off steam, we’re taking a football to the park and having a game of football!
Aaaand breathe…. :-)