I’m not one of those ‘crafty’ types that make perfect flowers out of toilet rolls, so my heart did a little plunge yesterday when I realised next week is the egg decorating and Easter bonnet competition at school.
I aspire to be crafty. I look at all the pretty things on Pinterest, then realise if I was to actually make anything on there, it’d be more at home on a Pinterest fail board where people point and laugh.
Yes, yes I know it’s the kids who are supposed to do it, not the parents. I’m one of those who buys all the materials for them and then lets them go mad sticking little fluffy chicks and stickers on their crowns.
That’s what it’s all about right?!
Then you get to school and see little Johnny and half of the school with him parading around with what, quite frankly have had more than a little adult input.
(If they were done by the kids, I’ll eat one of those flower toilet rolls I was talking about.)
You just know Alpha Mum has been up half the night supergluing her fingers together and getting in a tizz just so they have the best hat EVER.
The hats. I can cope with. Just about.
It’s when they get to Juniors that it all gets ridiculous. Not content with doing hats any more (what’s wrong with hats for goodness sake?!) they have to create an egg scene.
So now the game has been upped and you have to think of something witty like the Eggs Factor (X Factor, geddit) and make little egg judges and have a panel of the little blighters.
Last year, the 10 year old did The Grand Old Duke of Yolk and his 10,000 chicks marching up the hill. He did it all himself, too. (OK, there weren’t quite ten thousand chicks. That would have made for making a big assed hill.)
No idea what he’s doing this year, but I suppose he’d better get cracking.
No doubt the Alpha Mummies have been making theirs since February….