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Archive for September, 2015

I’ve always loved reading, and one of my all time favourite authors when I was small was the brilliant Roald Dahl.

Whereas other people wrote about adventures, fairies, or nice and fluffy things, Roald had a darker, more scary side.

From giants stealing sleeping children out of their beds and eating them up (then leaving a pile of bones underneath the window sill), to little girls getting trapped in paintings and never being able to get out – whilst living their life in the constraints of the picture frame instead, there was always some sinister elements to his tales.

So, in celebration of Roald Dahl Day, here’s 5 lessons from Roald Dahl.

Treat animals and birds the way you would want to be treated yourself

Oh, what fun, going out shooting ducks as a family! Bet you wouldn’t find it half as much fun though if the tables were turned and you woke up one morning and you’d traded places, would you?!

How would YOU like it if it was now the ducks who lived in your house, and you were tiny people with wings forced to build nests and dodge the bullets?

Not so much fun now, is it?!

The family in The Magic Finger found this out pretty quickly. Treat others as you’d like to be treated yourself, as you never know when it might turn round and get you instead…

Don’t be a spoilt little brat

I’m sure all kids have their moments, and stamp their feet when they don’t get their own way.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory had a monumental brat in the shape of Veruca Salt.

“I want an Oompa Loompa NOW, Daddy!”

What happens to the children who are perpetually spoilt though? Always wanting more, and never appreciating what they have?

Yup. They end up in the garbage chute where they belong.

Don’t p*ss off the grandkids

Are you a cantankerous old lady with a mouth like a dog’s bottom? Let’s hope you don’t have a grandson like George then, or he might make you some of his marvellous (or not so marvellous) medicine.

Hide the hair cream. The bleach. The toothpaste. Anything the cheeky little upstart could try and mix up for you and pass off as medicine.

A lesson to remember in future…..

kids – washing too much is bad for you

One of the lessons I’m sure most soap dodging kids are the most delighted to hear. I mean, you don’t want too many baths, do you?

If you have too many baths then the witches can smell you more easily. Leave the dirt on, as freshly washed children smell of dogs droppings….

parents aren’t just parents, you know…

What do you mean, parents aren’t just parents? Surely their sole purpose is to be there for the child, watch endless Cbeebies with you and whatnot –  they came into the world as ready made parents without having a life of their own first, right?!

Something that Danny in Danny the Champion of The World found out when his Dad disappeared in the dead of the night and he found out he’d been sneaking out to poach pheasants…..

So much wisdom.

So much fun.

Tell us via the comments if you’ve got any more lessons to add….

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There’s a few places in this world I’d love to see, and this got me thinking what my bucket list of places to go would be.

What would be on your list?

I’ve narrowed it down to my top 5 although there’ll probably be a lot more.

New York

From watching Home Alone as a child, to being a fan of Friends as a teenager, to reading Lindsey Kelk’s I love New York as an adult and re-igniting my need to go there upon reading.

Central Perk, where you can run free Phoebe style, to Kevin McCallister sticking his head out of the taxi window whilst zooming along the Brooklyn Bridge, to Angela Clark visiting Max Brenner’s chocolate place.

Yes.

Prince Edward Island

As any Anne of Green Gables fan will know, this was the setting for the mini series of the book by Lucy Maud Montgomery.

On visiting, you can just imagine having your hair pulled by Gilbert and being called “carrots!” or Marilla chastising you over some misdemeanour… or Matthew being his lovely self.

Anne of Green Gables, Prince Edward Island

The Ice Hotel, Sweden.

Yes, I like summer, but I’ve always coped much better in cold temperatures than hot ones. Winter will always be the best time of year for me. Can you beat a load of snow? No. I think not.

The Northern lights would be amazing to see, too. Apparently certain parts of the UK were supposed to see them last year, including here, but it never materialized. Hopefully soon…

The log cabins and champagne bars sound great… easily warm you up!

Ice Hotel

Sydney, Australia

It’s the other side of the world, and I’d love to go visit someday. See Sydney Opera House up close, instead of in Australian soaps or my favourite teen programme The Girl From Tomorrow.

Japan

Completely different culture to here, and one I’d love to experience. I already think I’d love the diet as well. LOVE  green tea, sushi, rice, noodles and tempura.

If you could choose anywhere to visit, where would you choose? Would anywhere on here feature? Or would it be somewhere completely different? Would love to know!

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