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When you think the world can’t get any more bonkers, you stumble across news articles that make you scratch  your head and laugh out loud at the absurdity of it all.

The latest one to do this for me is this news that the NHS has set up an exercise boot camp for overweight children and toddlers in an attempt to drive down soaring childhood obesity rates.

Children are meant to have a little bit of puppy fat.

However, after saying that, if a small, toddling child is so frighteningly overweight that they’re deemed needing to attempt a kiddy fat camp, surely it’s the parents who need to attend classes seeing as they’re the one feeding and exercising them?!

It’s a pretty sad state of affairs if the NHS feels the need to set up million pounds initiatives to encourage toddlers to play with balls and balloons.

Parents should be doing that anyway, there shouldn’t be a need for an intervention.

Every parent knows that exercise is good for children, surely. If they weren’t bothered before to go out to parks, play football, etc, are they suddenly going to start because they’ve been told to?!

Exercise costs nothing and kids like nothing better than to run around if given half the chance.

As for getting the parents to read food labels, if you’re going to educate them, why stop there?! Give them cooking lessons as well and teach them how to cook from scratch with wholesome ingredients.

Teach them to say no to requests for endless snacks, unless it’s healthy ones. Unlimited access to the fruit bowl, and offer breadsticks, crudites, rice cakes if they need a snack.

Restrict chocolate to a once a week treat instead of everyday occurrences.

Toddlers shouldn’t be sent to boot camp. If anyone should be, it’s the parents of the extremely  overweight children.

What do you think?

Let me know via the comments box! 🙂

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To the untrained eye, a games console such as the Wii or Playstation is a fun pastime to keep the children happy and occupied.

To the more initiated though, they’re a torture device with some kind of mind warping facility that can render the most placid of children into rabid, foul mouthed demon monsters.

They’ll lull you into a false sense of security by being lovely and calm, so you let them turn it on for a nice game of FIFA football or whatever.

Then halfway through the game, if you so much as dare to say something to them, their language has changed beyond all recognition.

It’s morphed from English into some kind of grunt that only apes and chimpanzees would have a chance of understanding.

“We’ll be going out in a bit. So another ten minutes and then turn it off.”

“Ugg.”

<ten minutes later>

“Turn it off now, your time’s up.”

“UGG!!”

After a while of going round in circles, you end up unplugging it at the wall because they just won’t turn off the bloody thing. (Don’t worry, they won’t be in the middle of a game. They’ll have finished that, and just be doing something VITALLY important such as farting around choosing someone different for their team.)

To which you’ll get a round of Kevin The Teenager type wailings.

“It’s so UNFAIR! I HATE you! You’ve ruined my LIFE!”

Stomp, stomp crash.

Whatevs, Kev.

Even the innocent Mario Kart isn’t immune from a bit of sibling rivalry.

Mario, you see is a two player game which means they can both play together at the same time racing each other round the track.

Which you’d think would be all nice and lovely.

Nope, it just means that you get a double helping of bratty behaviour instead.

Two lots of “ugg” if you say anything.

Or whinging. “He’s deliberately driving in front of meeee!”” “Make him STOP!”

“Waaah!!” or some such rubbish.

Give. Me. Strength.

Not to mention the complete attitude and back chat you get for the hour or so after you’ve turned the blasted consoles off.

It’s like their personalities have been changed.

A recent experiment saw me unplug all consoles (Wii, Playstation) and hide the Nintendo DS’s so they can’t play on them either.

One whole week of absolute bliss and nice, calm children.

The minute they got plugged back in though? All hell broke loose.

So this is why they’ve been unplugged for weeks now, as it makes for a much more calm environment.

So are they getting plugged back in?

No.
It’s bliss.

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We’re a big fan of the written word here, and with several bookcases full of books you’re never far away from a good book to get stuck into.

Whatever your age.

It doesn’t matter how old you are, you’re never too young to get interested in books.

With the two children of the house, they’ve been ‘reading’ books since they were about 6 months old, and now at 7 and 11 years old they love to pick up a book and read to themselves.

Yes, from 6 months old. Admittedly, they don’t do much actual reading at that age, and just prefer to gum the book instead and use it as a teething ring, but the act of picking up a book and looking at the pictures is still a good habit to instil.

To save soggy paper, cloth books are the best bet here! You can get cloth versions of the classic kids books such as The Very Hungry Caterpillar so they can chew as much as they like. 🙂

When they get to around a year old, they can sit on your knee and try and turn the pages over as you’re reading for extra fun and games.

Try a bath version of the books as well with a waterproof one.

You can even buy little books that attach to the side of your pushchair as well called Buggy Buddies.

These were a godsend when out and about in town as it would keep them amused for ages in the pushchair, and there was no chance of losing them as they couldn’t throw them out as they were firmly attached by a plastic twirly clip.

Genius.

Nowadays, they have a bookcase full of books, are strong readers and pick up a book for fun. Just the way it should be. Current favourites at the moment for the 11 year old are any David Walliams book, and the Diary of a Wimpy Kid series.

The 7 year old prefers the Horrid Henry series.

As for me, I read everything and anything too – including the children’s classics. Like I said, you’re never too young or old to read, and escape into a fantasyland….

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Every year, our primary school has escaped the madness that is Book Day dressing up, and has just had a lovely book fair in the school hall instead.

(Any excuse to buy new books is fine by me.)

This year, however, in their infinite wisdom, they’ve decided to follow the other sheep (sorry, schools) and have said that the children are to dress up.

Yes, I know, I KNOW it’s all a bit of fun, and I need to lighten up, but that doesn’t stop me doing a big internal scream and sweating a bit at the mere thought of having to think up a costume.

Making things isn’t my ‘thing’. Words are. So, I will not be joining the ranks of the Alpha Uber Mummy Brigade and hand knitting my own costumes, or indeed spending a shedload in a mad panic at the local fancy dress shop.

If you’re like me, what you need to do instead is decide what you DO have in and they go as a character from that.

Luckily for me, we’re all Harry Potter bonkers here, so we already have a Gryffindor scarf and a wand. A pair of round glasses purchased from Poundland and a lightning shaped scar on his head and voila, he’s Harry Potter.

We’re sorted, he’s happy and all for the princely sum of a pound!

If you’re still wondering what to do for World Book Day, here’s some other easy, lazy, cheap (take your pick) ideas:

Girls:

The Worst Witch

Have you got any Halloween costumes kicking about? If you’ve got a witches dress and hat, you can go as Mildred Hubble from The Worst Witch series.

Pippi Longstocking

Another dead easy one. A pair of colourful stripy tights and a frock, and hair tied into plaits. Sorted.

Boys:

Where’s Wally?

Stripy red and white t-shirt. Ta-da.

Just William

Hey, they don’t even have to go in anything but uniform here. Just have some knee length trouser shorts (get raiding the summer uniform wardrobe) and sling a satchel over their shoulder.

(Don’t forget a cap as well.)

Next year, hopefully it’s back to the book stalls again…..

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It’s half term this week, and so far we’ve been ice skating, been out for lunch twice, been to the local soft play, and a forest where we collected pine cones and did a spot of tree climbing.

pine cones

In other words, we’ve done something pretty much every day this week. Today though, we’ve just had a day in of doing precisely NOTHING. Nothing organised, nothing doing.

Since when were kids lives so micro managed as they are now? We’re always expected to be DOING something, and there’s never just enough time to relax.

There’s always football practise to go to, swimming and Beavers and whatever club is on after school.

They’ve actually forgotten how to be bored. Being bored is GOOD,sometimes. I’m not Entertainment Manager, you are your own people and you don’t need me giving you ideas on what to do every five minutes.

It’s good to be bored as it makes you think for yourself what you want to do,. You’re making your own decisions, using your imagination, and learning to think for yourself.

Plus, it’ll make you appreciate the days you DO go out a hell of a lot more!

Next holidays, I’m making a stand and not arranging half as many days out.

We’re having more days of leaving them to it and making their own entertainment.

Who’s with me?!

I

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Lately, I’ve been seeing lots of gushing via Facebook and it’s got me wondering what the  hell is going on and if I’m missing a vital ‘soppy gene.’

Lots of posts and memes have been littered with things like “Three things I’m thankful for today” and have gone on to describe angelic children, dances through the cornfields whilst singing along the way, and general loveliness.

My two however have decided to belt seven bells of crap out of each other in the form of wrestling since school finished last week.

Why? For the love of God, WHY can’t they play nicely without deciding to divebomb the other or get the other in a stranglehold on the floor? Is it a boy thing?!

So on seeing these lovey dovey memes and posts I decided to post my own three things I was thankful for to counter-act all the saccharine bullcrap as I refuse to believe you’re all Sound of Music Julie Andrews wannabe’s

The three things I’ve been thankful for this week?

 

– Bedtime.

– Wine.

– Social Media

 

😀

What’s yours?!

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As a blogger, I spend quite a lot of time on social media and over the different platforms, see lots of pictures and stories of various children.

Recently joining Instagram, it got me thinking if sometimes we’re responsible for over sharing.

Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with sharing your lives and pictures with a wider audience, especially when blogs revolve around the family , and are enhanced by funny stories, pictures, or craft activities or whatever.

I post photos of my two on my blog, but it’s always back views, or partially obscured faces for privacy reasons.

Something like this when we went castle moat exploring.

exploring castle s

As well as never mentioning names.

Pictures of children fast asleep in their beds oblivious to the fact that they’re being pictured and put on the internet for others to see, or of  bathing babies etc.

The worst we ever had to contend with when growing up was the fact that mum or dad would whip out their camera and take embarrassing photos of you and put in the photo album to bring out in front of future boyfriends/girlfriends to embarrass the hell out of you.

Today’s children though have a bigger nightmare – the fear that their mum and dad may be uploading pictures of their tantrums, or discussing their toilet habits or whatever.

You just need to look at the immensely popular blog (and now book)  Reasons My Kid is Crying to see my point.

Sure, it’s hilarious, I’ve had a good laugh at some of the tantrums on there (they’re funny because they’re so completely true! )

Do all the toddlers know and understand they’re being put up for adult’s entertainment though? Could be quite embarrassing when they come across it in later life.

Ditto with all the sleeping babies sucking thumbs (“M’uuuum! I can’t even sleep in peace without you showing everyone!”) or baths.

What goes online stays online, as they say.

Are you an oversharer? Or am I an over thinker?! 🙂

 

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