Archive for January, 2016

It’s been one of those mornings in this household where you feel the whole house would fall down if you were suddenly taken ill and had to take to your bed.

“Where’s my tie?! I can’t find my tie. You didn’t give me my tie.”

Putting aside the fact they’re perfectly capable of laying their own school clothes out on a night and don’t need me to do it for them, to keep the peace I have a wander upstairs and see the bloody tie about two steps away in the middle of the floor.

As, you know, if it doesn’t jump up and bite you on the nose end then it’s impossible to see.

So, I’m putting myself on hold and setting up some kind of hotline.

Dial 1 for clean socks


Dial 2 for lost items that contrary to popular belief I can’t just pull out of my arse


Dial 3 for “tell it to the hand as the face ain’t bovvered” whilst putting them on hold to torture music of your choice for several hours.

Some type of so called ‘mum’ music that will be sure to enrage them further, just for the laughs.

In my case, that’d be music from the 80s and therefore deemed ancient.

When you’re all set up, squirrel yourself away in the Call Centre hub, which is a locked room of your choice, chocolate, enough wine to sink a battleship, and dvd boxsets on loop whilst Dad can take on role of personal maid and mug.

If there’s any problems with this, you can find me on 01 don’t give a chuff 2 5.

In the meantime, listen to some nice relaxing music as I stick you all on hold….. bzzzz


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The Christmas tree has been packed away for another year, and your living room looks a little sad and bare.

christmas tree

Not to mention the fact that you feel like a baby hippo due to the excessive eating of mince pies and tins of Quality Street whilst blobbed in front of the telly.

Yes, it’s January again, and your alarm’s gone off at what feels like stupid o’clock as it’s time to start going back to work or doing the school run.

A bit of January blues chasing is what’s needed.

Here’s a couple of my favourites.

Plan yourself a holiday, or even just a night away. Looking at sunnier climes or even just the thought of a night away somewhere different will lift the spirits.

Even if you’re not planning to go away anywhere, just the thought of beaches and sunshine makes you feel a bit brighter!

saltburn by the sea


Dust off your walking boots and hit the fresh air. Even if it’s just a stroll round your neighbourhood, it’ll blow away the cobwebs and shake your brain out if its festive fug.

exploring castle s

What do you do to  make January seem that little bit brighter?

Let me know via the comments box! 🙂



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