The Parent’s guide to Saturday Night

OK, you’re a parent now. Remember those days when you used to be out in the pub both Friday and Saturday nights, getting drunk with your mates?!

Yes, so do I. Just. Where we used to down triple house vodkas on special offer, sing loudly to the cheesy club music, and stagger home via the local takeaway for a big kebab and a bag of chips.

Never mind the fact you would never be caught dead near a kebab when sober, they tasted deeelicious when you had a few hundred drinks inside you.

Then waking up the next morning with a mouth that felt like it was filled with the scrapings from the bottom of a bird cage and dying inside.

You know you’re a parent old when:

 

– If you tried going out on the town two night in a row you’d die horribly and be comatose under a pub table somewhere on the second night.

 

– If you had the choice between going to a nightclub or sitting at home drinking wine and watching crap Saturday night telly, you’d be reaching for the TV remote quicker than you could say Simon Cowell.

 

– You much prefer the idea of a Come Dine With Me type night, with friends, good food, music and easy flowing wine to a nightclub. Pick a theme, say Mexican, and have a Mexican night – friends, tortillas, burritos, plentiful tequila and music…

 

Oh, I still love a night out. These days, though, it’s a case of only one of them, either Friday or Saturday and not both. If I tried staying up until 3am two nights running in a nightclub now, I’d be no use to anybody.

Least of all myself.

How about you?!

 

 

 

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Listography – My Top 5 yoghurts

As I don’t ‘do’ yoghurts as I’m intolerant to milk, this listography is no good from my point of view, so I’m doing it from the kids angle.

They love yoghurts, and would eat the things all day if I let them.

Even the fussy 8 year old likes them (but he’d not be impressed if I deviated from the usual favourites.)

So, in no particular order, these are the firm favourites of this house.

 

Petit Filous

Small yoghurts for small people. They have liked these since being toddlers, and still like them now.

 

Munch Bunch

Proper kids yoghurts, I remember these from when I was small!

 

Wildlife

Nice packed lunch sized and come with a little joke on the side to make you laugh groan loudly

 

Rachel Organic

 

Organic ones, with no junk in. Even though they’re not tiny anymore, these are still good ones to enjoy.

 

Muller Light

 

As the rest of the post is from the kids point of view, the last yoghurt is my choice.

Muller Light. Mmmm. (I used to love these before my stupid body won’t let me have them!)

Especially good if you’re trying to lose weight, as they’re a free food at Slimming World, meaning you can eat as much of them as you like.

Try the toffee or caramel ones poured over sliced bananas – yummy dessert sorted and you can have 10 bowlfuls if you like! 🙂

 

The listography  is over here this week http://www.actuallymummy.co.uk/2012/04/28/listography-top-5-yoghurts-my-first-solo-post/ so to check out other favourites, head on over there.

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The greatest parenting and life mysteries of all time….

There’s some things that go with being a parent and having a home to tidy that can be classed as one of the great mysteries of the world, and just can’t be explained away.

 

– Where do all the socks go?! They start off as a pair, then split up and become single. Even if you put the bloomin’  things together into the washing machine, they never, ever come out together.

Is there a sock eating monster sat at the back of the washing machine drum, opening his mouth wide for socky treats?

 

-Why, why is there always a teaspoon left at the bottom of the washing bowl left when you know full well that there was nothing in there a minute ago?! You had your hand swirling round the bowl, looking for missed cutlery, and there was nothing. NOTHING.

Tip the water out and there’s magically a teaspoon in there. Weird.

 

– Why, as soon as you put your rubber gloves on to do the washing up, do you get the biggest itch in the universe on the end of your nose?! It was perfectly fine 2 seconds ago. (Happened to me just this morning.)

 

– Why, when your children have been sound asleep and snoring their little heads off all evening, decide to wake up and start yelling the second your bottom makes contact with the sofa and your favourite programme is about to start?!

They KNOW. They must do. Little blighters.

 

– Why, when something breaks down, does everything decide to go kaputt at the same time? So far, in the past week, the dishwasher, the tumble drier, and the kettle have all died.

Now the car’s decided to not work and husband broke down on his way to work yesterday, and had to sit there until he was rescued.

If the washing machine decides to break down next, I swear I’m going to have a full on toddler tantrum and fling myself on the floor.

Well, if the kids are allowed to do it…..

 

 

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What room in your house is your haven and why?

Britmums is asking us to share the room in our house which is our haven and explain why.

The first place that sprang to my mind is the bathroom.

Why?

It’s the only room in the whole house that has a lock on it. that’s why, and I can lock the bleeders out.

I’ll wait until they’re in bed, so I can really relax in peace, though. Otherwise someone or other will be knocking on the door wanting a wee, or wanting a random object out of there. (The husband’s just as bad.)

Then it’s a case of locking the door, having a bath and taking a book in there, and emerging approximately 2 hours later all wrinkly and resembling a raisin/prune.

Bathroom materials –

 

– nice, warm, fluffy towels

– a copy of Heat magazine or a chick lit book

– hot water

– a locked door.

– husband on the other side of it on the listen out for any children related moans. (No. I’m not here. Sorry.)

 

Which room is your haven and why?!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Ban children’s menus!

An Italian cook has been in the news today calling for the ban of children’s menus in restaurants.

Antonio Carluccio reckons that children should eat the same as adults when out and about, and shouldn’t have their own menu.

Do you know what? I agree with him. Although it’s nice in principle for children to have their own menus when dining out, have you seen the amount of rubbish that is on those things?!

Some places have a menu comprising of fishfingers and chips, burgers and chips, pizza and chips, sausage and chips and anything else fried you can think of and not a lot else.

What happened to choice? Nothing wrong with the odd fishfinger or chips at all, but why don’t they get some other options as well?

Just because they’re small they automatically want chips, is that right?

No, it doesn’t always work like that. When there’s an adult’s menu full of fresh meals and a children’s menu full of crap and not a lot else, it is rather annoying.

I remember taking my eldest who is now 8 into a cafe when he was toddler sized, and he wanted shepherds pie.

So I asked for a child’s sized shepherds pie, only to be met by a blank look and a “we don’t do that for children, they can only choose off the menu.”

What did the menu comprise of? Yep, you guessed it – bloody chips. Served with a side order of chips and with a drink of chips (well, it might as well have been.)

How hard would it have been to just make a smaller version of the shepherds pie? Just a toddler sized dollop of shepherds pie with some peas and a bit of veg, like the adults could have?

It’s hardly rocket science.

I ended up sharing mine with him on a smaller plate.

Not all kids WANT chips every time they’re out. Nothing wrong with chips, but having the choice of something else would be nice.

I’m with Antonio all the way. Have a universal menu for both adults and children, and just do smaller versions of the adult portions for the small people.

That way, if they want chips, they can have them, just like the adults can, but they also have the choice of having other dinners as well, which don’t involve fried food.

Restaurant places – take note.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/foodanddrink/9215255/Antonio-Carluccio-children-should-eat-like-adults.html

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I’ve been nominated! Mad Blog Awards

As my blog has only been up and running since August last year, I was most surprised (and very pleased!) to find out that I have been nominated for the most Inspirational Blog category.

Me? With my little old blog?! I’m more than pleased, to say the least. It’s nice to think that people out there are reading me, and I’m just not rambling away to myself into cyberspace and getting nothing but a faint echo and a blast of tumbleweed back across the screen, which is what I fully expected to happen when I started up the blog. 🙂

So, if anyone out there has ever enjoyed reading any of my posts, (or even if you haven’t!) please click on the MADS badge over there beneath this post on the right hand side that says ‘Nominated! MAD Blogs!’ and it’ll take you over to the MAD award website and nomination form (the nominate bit at the top.)

Quick quick, though as nominations finish soon.

Well, if you don’t ask, you don’t get, that’s my motto. Worth a try! So in the words of Mrs Doyle from Father Ted “Ah go on, go on, go on, G’wan!”

If it doesn’t work, I’ll just sit here chain eating Hob Nobs, drinking buckets of tea and I’ll await the tumbleweed.

🙂

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Is only having one child selfish?!

An article in one of today’s papers tells of how one mother has been dubbed selfish for not wanting to give her offspring a little brother or sister to play with.

Caroline, a mother of one little girl, has told of how she has had to defend her right to have only one child and not a whole little army of children who are all there for each other.

Does it matter how many brothers or sisters you have? Is it vitally important to have at least one brother or sister to play with when you’re growing up? Or is it important to learn how to grow independently, think for yourself and know how to get along in solitude?

Thinking back to when I was small, I grew up with a brother 2 years younger and we used to make dens in the fields behind our parents house, or wind each other up constantly. The only difference back then that we could wind each other up equally – if I tried to ‘get him’ now, he’s a 6 foot plus beanpole who could quite easily ‘get me’  back…although he’d have a fight on his hands  🙂

Do we need siblings to keep us occupied? Or are we alright just by ourselves?

The husband grew up an only child, and tells how he used to wish he had someone to play with.

Yes, he used to have people to play with at school, but when he got home there was no other children to play with which would have been nice, as without any other children there it got a bit lonely.

How many children makes it just right? I personally liked having brothers and sisters to grow up with.

I had the brother growing up with  when I was little, then I moved out by myself. I was nearly entering teens when my sister was about 3, so my young growing up years was with the brother. Now my grown up years are spent knowing my sister and having great nights out on the town with her.

Even when she needs a slap as the age difference becomes apparent when she only ever recognizes dance versions of classic 80’s songs…. 🙂

Are only children lonely? What do you think?!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2130307/Carolines-called-selfish-lazy-cruel-Her-crime-Wanting-child.html

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A weekend away in Whitby with no children….

As the last time we went away for a weekend away without the kids was over 8 years ago, we could be forgiven for looking forward to this weekend away more than most.

Yes, this time we were going to stay in a hotel room that wasn’t a family room, which meant no bunk beds in the hotel room and kids refusing to go sleep like last year.

As nice as that getaway was, it wasn’t the most relaxing or stress free getaway with two small ones wide awake and playing up until late, or whining ‘it’s too far to walk’ when we’d only just set foot out of the hotel to anywhere.

No, this time it was an alien concept – grown ups only. Children safely at the grandparents, having their own little adventure day out by going to Brimham Rocks (lots of climbing for them to do, they’ll have been in their element) while we got to have a weekend away in Whitby.

Usually it’s a case of arrive for the day, go eat fish and chips at The Magpie, then a quick walk along the beach before it’s time to head home.

Not this time, though, This time we got to do what we wanted, which turned out to be eating some lovely pie and mash at the Humble Pie and Mash Shop, followed by a very blustery walk along the seafront to walk it all off.

A few drinks in the Duke of York pub at the bottom of Whitby’s 199 steps was in order as well. (No, we didn’t climb them, although we have done before. Maybe next time. 🙂 )

I also bought myself a new mug on a leisurely browse round the shops (I’d forgotten what it was like to browse round shops selling breakables in peace!)

Now I’m back, and to keep stress free I just need to fill the mug up with tea and read it if they start winding each other up.

Then if the 8 year old runs up with a tale of how they’re annoying each other, I can just be sat there drinking my tea, pointing at my mug.

Which I did earlier. It made him laugh anyway.

We also passed by this…….

Anyone recognise it?

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Soft play areas in the school holidays…

As we’ve been stuck with miserable weather for the past week, which in turn has made the small ones start to go a bit stir crazy being cooped up, I thought I’d do us all a favour and head off out to the local soft play centre for a bit.

The idea was simple, and brilliant. Two little ones stick at home, practically chasing their tails round and round like some kind of crazy dog, while all the time screeching at the top of their voices in between winding each other up did not a relaxed environment make.

So,  a trip to the local ball pool would be a great idea – they could run up and down, climb and clamber over everything in sight if they so wished.

Yes, that’s right as I wouldn’t care, as they could go loopy crackers with each other and I’d be sat relaxing with a nice cup of tea and a bacon sarnie while reading the paper in relative peace.

Until we got there and any idea of a nice relaxing afternoon disappeared in a puff of smoke as I had completely forgotten what soft play centres are actually like in the middle of the holidays, along with conveniently forgetting why I only ever used to go after school or back when they weren’t both at school full time.

There was me, only remembering through my rose tinted specs that aspect of ball pools. Yes, you can have one eye on a paper and the other watching your little darlings  when they’re the only people in there, or there’s literally only a handful of other children. (I’m nothing if not a multi-tasker.)

Try it on a wet midweek Easter holiday though, and it’s a different story. Kids running up and down the big slide despite a big sign saying ‘DO NOT RUN OR WALK UP THE SLIDE.’ while the parents sit there and let them.

Can they not read, or do they just not give a stuff? Never mind all the small ones patiently sitting at the top waiting to come down but can’t because of kids doing what the hell they like as their parents let them climb up.

(I’d bet they’d soon be up in a flash if their kid got a boot in the head due to going the wrong way up a slide as someone else was coming down, and that it wouldn’t be their kid’s fault. Oh no.)

Then there was the child clambering on the roof of the plastic play house making the roof come apart a bit. Then climbing through the windows and nearly dismantling the whole thing.

Even my 4 year old commented it was a bit silly trying to climb through a window, as you go through a door, don’t you?!

Not to mention the main ball bit being overrun with a gang of kids who all looked about 12, charging round in it so there was no room for anyone else at one point as they were all too busy chucking balls at each other’s heads for any other kids to climb in too.

So all in all, a not very relaxing day after all…. next time we want a day of letting off steam, we’re taking a football to the park and having a game of football!

Aaaand breathe…. 🙂

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Easter and leftover chocolate….

Easter. That time of the year when you confuse your kids by throwing the rules out of the window,  and instead of forbidding chocolate before for breakfast, they’re eating it not only first thing in the morning, but all day long.

The past couple of days at our house has looked like an eggsplosion (sorry) in The Easter Bunny’s House, and we can’t move for eggs.

This being just part of the stash.

That dark chocolate Green and Black one at the front has disappeared already on account of it being mine. (Oink.)

Luckily for the kids, I have a milk intolerance otherwise I’d have scoffed all theirs, too. 🙂

As we went to a Fun Day yesterday and an Easter egg hunt as well on Sunday, we got another two eggs and a stash of Creme eggs from them.

So today I’ve decided enough is enough and I’ve melted down the two freebies and made Chocolate Nests with them.

Even I can make them.

Melt golden syrup, margarine, and the offending Easter eggs (broken up), and stir in your  Crispies or Cornflakes.

Easy.

I think we’re still going to be eating chocolate at Christmas at this rate………

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